Not Always Friendly on Facebook Not Always Friendly on Twitter Not Always Friendly Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Prescribe Some Common Sense
    (352 thumbs up)
  • Cyst-emic Failure

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Health & Body, Movies & TV

    (Just over a month ago I had an ovarian cyst that ruptured. It causes the ovary to swell and is extremely painful. Mine doesn’t require surgery, but I’m still recovering at this point.)

    Friend: “You okay? You’ve been holding your side all day.”

    Me: “Yeah, sometimes my ovary still hurts. It takes about three months to heal from a ruptured cyst.”

    Friend: “Ooh, man, that sucks! What happened, anyway?”

    Me: “Robert Downey Jr. made my ovaries explode.”

    A Lens Flare Up

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I usually wear glasses and no makeup, but I decide to wear contacts and makeup. I see a friend in the coffee shop.)

    Friend: “Oh, [My Name!] Did you put on eyeliner?”

    Me: “Well, yeah, a little.”

    Friend: “And your eyes… They’re so blue! Are you wearing contacts?”

    Me: “Yeah, but they dry out my eyes so I don’t wear them much.”

    Friend: “Don’t you wear contacts all the time?”

    Me: “No. Just my glasses.”

    Friend: “But then how are your eyes always so blue?!”

    Me: “Oh! Those are my natural colour. I wear lenses for vision.”

    Friend: “If you don’t want to tell me where you got your lenses, fine!”

    Taking Herself To Where The Sun Don’t Shine

    , | Orono, ME, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Strangers

    (I’m in a fast food restaurant when two older women sit down at a booth. The booth has two windows beside it, one which is empty and the other which has a big, promotional poster in it.)

    Woman #1: “You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to tear down that poster so I can look outside.”

    Woman #2: “Well, I can switch with you.”

    Woman #1: “No, that’s okay!”

    Woman #2: “But I don’t want to look outside! The sun is out there!”

    Dressing Up The Problem

    | Venice, Italy | Bizarre/Silly, Health & Body

    (My friend and I go to Venice and we’re going to a masquerade party. We are both wearing huge archaic dresses with many layers – brace to hold the skirt out, layer over that, middle layer that only showed a little at the front, and top layer. We’re finally dressed up with everything in its place when my friend says she needs to pee. She goes to the bathroom but leaves the door open in case she needs help. Several minutes pass with the sound of her struggling with her dress.)

    Friend: “Going to the toilet is an adventure! Where’s my vulva?”

    Muffin Flop

    | Birmingham, England, UK | Bizarre/Silly, Food & Drink

    (This happens at the hotel breakfast of an anime convention. My friend is not an early riser.)

    Friend: *is trying to feed her glass of orange juice a muffin by pressing it on the side*

    Me: “What are you doing…?”

    Friend: *looks at me* “Eating a muffin…”

    (We look at each other, and then I look at her hands again, still prodding the muffin against the glass. She looks down too.)

    Me: “That’s not how you eat a muffin.”

    Friend: “I have no idea what I was trying to achieve.”

    Page 1/15812345...Last
    Next Page »