• A Rude Awakening
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    Delicious Religion

    | Guadalajara, Jalisco, Mexico | Religion

    (I’m talking with my friend during class break. Somehow, we end up talking about Pastafarianism, a parody religion that parodies Christianity, and that holds the Flying Spaghetti Monster as its divinity. He identifies himself with Pastafarianism; I identify myself as an agnostic Roman Catholic.)

    Me: “So you believe in pasta…”

    Friend: “Yep”

    Me: “But you eat pasta! Shame on you! You’re eating your god!”

    Friend: “…”

    Me: “Wait! I also eat my god…”

    Taking A Spell On Photoshop

    | Oakville, ON, Canada | Technology

    (My friend and I are IMing, and have gotten on the subject of PhotoShop and how much you can do with it.)

    Friend: “The content-aware fill tool is frightening witchcraft. I feel like before using it I should be sacrificing a goat or something.”

    Word To That

    | USA | Musical Mayhem

    (This conversation between my friend and I happens every time I see the episode of Family Guy where Peter becomes obsessed with the song ‘Surfin’ Bird’)

    Me: “Hey, have you heard?”

    Friend: “If you say ‘the bird is the word,’ I will smite you.”

    Me: “So… how are things?”

    I Drive Like:


    Express Service

    | Tulsa, OK, USA | Transportation

    (I’m making small-talk with another businessman at a bus stop in front of a petroleum engineering building.)

    Man: “I used to work across the street at [Multinational Oil Company]. We had an odd policy of sending documents to the petroleum engineers.”

    Me: “Odd? How so?”

    Man: “We would FedEx important documents from that side of the street to theirs.”

    Me: “Seriously? The documents would travel all the way to Memphis and back again just to cross the street?”

    Man: “Yes. FedEx eventually figured it out and never put the stuff on a plane but just took it across the street.”

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