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    Top 5 Funniest Stories Of February 2015

    | Not Always Friendly | Roundups

    February 2015 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Friendly’s top-rated stories last month!

    1. Laid It Out For Her (850 thumbs up)
    2. My Little Pokémon (791 thumbs up)
    3. Phone Trying To Phone Home (784 thumbs up)
    4. Put Her In The Hot Seat (762 thumbs up)
    5. Kiss And Don’t-Tell (760 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    The New Batch Of Rules

    | DE, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Movies & TV

    (Some of my friends and I do online role-play, taking on identities of characters and interacting with one another to come up with stories and plotlines that we would like to see but haven’t in a show/movie’s canon, and I’ve just been named as one of the moderators of a group. I’m tasked with writing up the rules for the role-play. The biggest problem in our group is outside people coming in and god-modding, controlling the other character’s actions and reactions – one of the biggest no-no’s in role-play.)

    Me: “Look, I’m not saying I don’t appreciate the job. I just am really bad at writing out rules.”

    Friend #1: “Just put stuff like no god-modding, respect each other. That crap.”

    Me: “I can tell you now, the only rules I know front to back are the rules for taking care of a mogwai.”

    Friend #2: “What’s a mogwai?”

    Friend #3: “You know the cute little furry thing in Gremlins? That’s a mogwai. If you feed it after midnight, it turns into one of the funky mean green things.”

    (After another half hour of chatting and explaining about the Gremlins movies and the rules to Friend #2, I have to go to bed. The next morning I check the rules area of our role-play forum to see what I have to work with.)

    Rules: “Don’t get [My Name] wet. Don’t expose [My Name] to bright lights. Don’t feed [My Name] after midnight. If you break any of these rules, [My Name]’s rage will be justified and we will not protect you.”

    (When the group peacefully dissolved a year later, they were still in the official rules.)

    Drop The Penny, Not The Baby

    | CA, USA | Family & Kids, Gatherings, Rude & Risque

    (We’re at a get together with a group of friends, all couples. One couple has just had their first baby, and are the first couple in this group to have a child. One of the guys, who doesn’t yet have kids, has an observation about the new baby.)

    Friend: “He looks like me!”

    (Everyone is somewhat taken aback at a guy who isn’t the dad claiming likeness to the baby, and processing the potential implication of it. We don’t take it seriously, just stare at the guy, and then begin to laugh.)

    Friend: “What?”

    Baby’s Dad: “I don’t think he realizes what he just said.”

    Friend: “What?”

    Baby’s Mother: “You have a very gracious wife.”

    Friend: “What?” *to his wife* “What’s wrong with what I said?”

    Friend’s Wife: *amused* “I’ll let you think about that a bit longer.”

    (After several minutes, he figured it out and got rather quiet.)

    Doesn’t Bear Repeating

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Movies & TV

    Me: “Babe. I got you, babe. I got you, babe.”

    Friend: “Sonny and Cher? It’s far too Monday for that.”

    Me: “It’s also Groundhog Day.”

    Friend: “It’s also far too Monday for Andie MacDowell.”

    Me: “Would you prefer if I did this again tomorrow?”

    Friend: “Well played, my friend.”


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