Blame Canada!

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Travel

(I’m 18 and my sister is 21. We are coming back from a trip to Europe. We have a connecting flight in Canada that we missed. After waiting hours in a crowded, chaotic room with over 1,000 people, waiting to rebook our flight and get a room for the night, we are stressed out. My sister is crying and upset, which is making me upset. While that doesn’t excuse what I say next, I hope it makes it at least more understandable. We are exiting customs to go to our hotel.)

Customs Agent: “Hi! What brings you to Canada?!”

Me: *practically in tears* “I don’t even want to be here!”

(The customs agent just laughed with the other agent next to him.)

Customs Agent: *jokingly angry* “Hey, that’s my country you’re talking about!”

(Thanks for not being offended by an overly emotional teenage girl!)


His Precious Dropped

| QLD, Australia | Geeks Rule, Health & Body

(In psychology class, my friends and I are talking about ‘Lord Of The Rings,’ when out pops this gem:)

Friend: “I used to be able to do a really good Smeagol voice, but then my balls dropped…”


Leaping To Conclusions

| OH, USA | Backhanded Compliments, Popular

(I’m out at a restaurant with one of my friends whose birthday is February 29. I’m using ketchup when I notice something on the bottle.)

Me: “Hey, [Friend], look! If you sign up for the birthday club you get a free entree every year on your birthday!”

Friend: “Screw you.”

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