Both Are Hard But One Is Harder

| CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I’m walking home when I trip and fall, the contents of my purse falling onto the sidewalk, including a couple of tampons. A man stops to help — no worries, I got the valuables up first! — and is gathering items.)

Man: *holding a tampon* “What’s this?”

Me: *a little embarrassed* “Oops! It’s a tampon.”

Man: “Huh?”

Me: “Y’know, for THAT time of the month?”

Man: “Oh… OH! Oh, sorry, I’m tired… Heh… Period, right… Can’t you just hold it? Hold the blood?”

Me: “What? That’d be awesome, but no.”

Man: *suddenly angry* “But you’ve had them for so long! Why can’t you control it by now?! Women are idiots if they can’t do that!”

Me: “Boners.”

Man: “What? What does that have to do with anything?”

Me: “You’ve had ’em since the dawn of time. Why can’t you control them?”

Man: “It… wait… ugh! F*** you, b****!”

Me: *starts to leave, having gathered contents of purse* “Ha! You wish.”

Man: “Can… can I still get your number?”

Me: “What the h*** is wrong with you?”

(I walked a little faster, and luckily, I never ran into him again. Honestly, the nerve and stupidity of some people amazes me.)

Eyeing Up Some Karma

| Scotland, UK | Bad Behavior, Strangers

(I have just sat down on a train. There is a woman opposite me who glares at me before speaking.)

Woman: “What is that thing on your face?”

Me: “A birthmark.”

Woman: “Well it’s disgusting.”

Me: “Thank you…”

Woman: “No, seriously. You should get it removed. It’s f****** disgusting. I think I’m going to vomit.”

Me: “I’ll take that under advisement… By the way, did you know your lazy eye makes you look like that hyena from The Lion King?”

Woman: *turns red and starts to cry*

(I move to another seat at the other end of the carriage. Half an hour later, an elderly woman sits in my previous seat. She is just within ear shot.)

Elderly Woman: *after a couple of minutes* “Your glass eye is askew.”

(Cue screams and more crying.)

Your Pee Disagrees

| Omaha, NE, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Strangers

(I think I break my wrist while at work, while 34 weeks pregnant. I’m all baby bump — as in VERY noticeable. I get settled in at the urgent care office to wait. An over-the-road driver is in for drug screening.)

Driver: “Hey!”

Me: *keeps reading because why would anyone want to talk to me*

Driver: “Hey! Lady!”

Me: “Oh! Yes, sir?”

Driver: “I need you to do my test for me.”

Me: “WHAT?”

Driver: “Yeah, I won’t be clean. It’s just a pee test.”

Me: “I don’t think so.”

Driver: “Why not? It’s easy!”

Nurse: *behind him* “I’m pretty sure they’d question how you are pregnant.”

Driver: “They can test for that?”

Nurse: “Follow me, sir.”

Me: “Um. What just happened?”

Receptionist: “That’s almost normal.”

(Just a bad sprain for me in the end. I at least didn’t have a weird pee test result.)

The Younger You Are The Bigger The Problems Seem

| BC, Canada | Family & Kids

(I’m babysitting my younger cousin and have arrived a bit early. One of his friends, who’s a few years older than him, is still there.)

Cousin’s Friend: “So you’re 16, right? You’re only 6 years older than me!”

Me: “Actually, I’m 26.”

Cousin’s Friend: *dejectedly* “I’m so young…”

In A Spot Of Bother

| Canada | Strangers, Transportation, Wild & Unruly

(I’m at a very popular mall with my mom and a few friends during Christmas time. It is just after lunch when we finish and there are a lot of people with little parking spots left. We are trying to back out but with people trying to take our spot, we keep getting blocked in and can’t get out as more people come to try and steal our spot.)

Woman: *in passenger seat as the driver pulls up and sticks her head out* “Do you guys need help?”

Mom: “Yeah.”

(The woman gets out of her car and helps direct both my mom out of her parking spot while getting traffic to go around. However, because of all the cars lining up the driver has to move up a bit then goes down a lot so he can come back since there’s no other way to get back. As my mom finally gets out, a car tries to swipe in and take the spot but fails. The woman stands in the parking space.)

Woman: “I’m not moving.” *crosses her arms as cars are forced to go by unhappily* “I’M NOT MOVING, DOUCHEBAGS!”

(We left before we got to see if she got the spot or not.)

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