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This Subject Is Alien To Me

| USA | Geeks Rule, Schoolmates

(My friend doesn’t watch any science fiction. I, on the other hand, really like a wide variety, including but not limited to Star Wars, Star Trek, Stargate, Battlestar Galactica (Original), Farscape, Dr. Who, and Firefly.)

Me: “What’cha doin?”

Friend: “My science homework. I’m comparing my ‘Alien Cards’ to the Periodic Table.”

Me: “Alien Cards?”

Friend: “Yeah, I had to make them. Think you could help me with this?”

Me: “I would but… I don’t really know enough about your aliens to compare them to the periodic table.”

Friend: “Okay, well… how much do you know about the periodic table?”

Me: *pause* “Actually, on an overall scale I know way more about aliens than the periodic table.”

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P Is For Punny

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Punny, Roommates

(My roommate and I are making dinner. I’m notorious for making horrible jokes.)

Roommate: *drops a handful of peas*

Me: “D*** it, [Roommate]. You pea’d on the floor”

Roommate: “Oh, my god… that’s the worst joke yet.”

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Grandma Was Such A Downer

| PA, USA | Family & Kids, Musical Mayhem, Popular

(My friend’s grandmother just passed away and I’m helping her sort through all her belongings to be divided up to family members. Her husband was a musician, so she liked to collect records and memorabilia from their favorite bands and musicians. They mostly seemed to like music from the 50s-70s, Simon and Garfunkel, The Who, Elvis, many other people I’d never heard of, those kinds of things, and then…)

Me: “Uh… there’s a box here full of System of a Down stuff…”

Friend: “Yeah. Through some circumstance that none of us have quite figured out, she somehow accidentally bought one of their CDs one day and became one of their biggest fans overnight.”

(Coolest 76-year-old woman ever.)

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