Can You Like, Like Me?

| Scotland, UK | Crazy Requests, Technology

Friend: “Hey can you like my status on Facebook? Nobody has liked it yet.”

(Annoyed but willing to indulge her I look up her post and then stare at her.)

Me: “You posted this five minutes ago and ten people have already liked it.”

Friend: “It’s not enough.”

Me: “Are you really so desperate that you have to ask people to like your statuses?”

Friend: “People need to know I’m funny!”


Could Not ‘State’ It Any Clearer

| Rose Lake, ID, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Transportation, Travel

(It is winter. I have newspaper route and while waiting for my papers, I run into a lady trying to get to a resort on the Idaho-Montana state line.)

Me: “Where are you trying to get to?”

Lady: “Lookout Pass.”

Me: “You need to go back eastbound to Montana about 50 miles.”

Lady: “I’m in Montana.”

Me: “No, you are in Rose Lake, Idaho.”

Lady: “No, I haven’t gone that far.”

Me: “Didn’t you see the ‘Welcome to Idaho’ sign? Or the Wallace, or Kellogg city signs?”

Lady: “No, there wasn’t any “Welcome to Idaho” sign and Wallace and Kellogg are in Montana.”

Me: “Do you know where you are now?”

Lady: “Yes, Rose Lake, Montana. Lady, you have no clue where you are nor do you have no clue on how to give directions.”

(At that point I just gave up and just left her.)


Don’t Push It

| Australia | Backhanded Compliments, Health & Body

(A couple of friends and I are discussing bras along with their 15-year-old daughter. I am quite well endowed, while they aren’t, and often get teased about it.)

Friend: “[My Name], do you ever wear a push up bra?”

(Before I can answer the daughter pipes in.)

Daughter: “Are you kidding? She’d suffocate.”

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