Category: Backhanded Compliments

Comic Timing

| Seattle, WA, USA | Backhanded Compliments, Gatherings

(My friends and I are hanging out for one of my friends’ 21st birthday. Since we are on a bus, we’re trying to be respectful of those around us.)

Friend: “Happy birthday! I got you some adult literature since you are turning 21.”

(She hands him a paper bag that looks like it is holding a book. Since my friends are as likely to do a dramatic reading of a poem by Sappho as watch Spongebob, I wasn’t sure if she was being funny or serious.)

Me: “Oh, no, I didn’t think we were buying you presents.”

Birthday Boy: “You aren’t. [Friend] is just being insistent. I told [Friend] not to buy me anything!”

Me: “So, what is it? Or should you unwrap it later?”

Birthday Boy: “Let’s see.”

(He unwrapped it. It was a comic book tie-in for a popular children’s cartoon.)

Must Really Love Sean Bean

| CT, USA | Backhanded Compliments, Books & Reading, Popular

Friend: “It’s your fault!”

Me: “What did I do?”

Friend: “There was a character in this book I was reading and he was really cool. He would have been your favorite character.”

Me: “He died, didn’t he?”

Friend: “Yes! He died and it’s your fault! Your favorite characters always die!”

(She wasn’t wrong…)

A Sharp Observation

| New Zealand | Backhanded Compliments

(I am known for carrying scissors and apparently attacking people, though I generally do not TRY to harm anyone. This conversation happens after Friend #2 walks past me.)

Me: “[Friend #1]! [Friend #1]!”

Friend #1: “What?”

Me: “I just succeeded!”

Friend #1: “How?”

Me: “I just resisted the urge to stab [Friend #2]!”

Friend #1: “What? Who are you and what have you done with [My Name]?”

Me: “[Friend #3] is not going to believe this.”

Friend #3: *appearing* “What’s happened?”

Friend #1: “[My Name] had scissors and didn’t stab anyone.”

Friend #3: “What?”

Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 3

| Austria | Backhanded Compliments, Games, Pokemon, Popular

(I was asked to invite some friends to a party.)

Me: “Hey, come to [Location] at [Date and Time]. There is going to be an extra special Pokémon.”

Friend: “Yes! Count me in! But how do you know that?”

Me: “Intuition. [Friend #2] expects half-naked women, [Friend #3], pretty young men, [Friend #4], free ice cream, and for you, it’s a Pokémon.”

Related:
Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 2
Here We Pokémon Go Again

Double D-erogatory, Part 2

| Australia | Backhanded Compliments, Health & Body

(Friends and I are discussing sleeping habits. I am the token big-boobed friend and get teased about it.)

Me: “I tend to sleep on my stomach.”

Friend: “How can you sleep on your stomach with those boobs? Where do you put them?”

Me: “That’s what armpits are for; I’ve just got to remember they are there before I try to roll over.”

Related:
Double D-erogatory