Category: Bizarre/Silly

Falling Context

| Athens, Greece | Bizarre/Silly, Overheard, Popular

(I overhear a stranger on the phone as I walk to a seat.)

Stranger: “Did I tell you to fall? I didn’t tell you to fall. So why did you fall?”

(As people don’t generally fall on purpose or on command, I do wonder about the context. The only way I can make any sense of it is if she was giving instructions for a video game.)

History Is Ganging Up On You

| PA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, History, Popular

(In the 1800s, a secret society called the Molly Maguires was very active in our state, so even though nothing ever happened in our town, they are considered local history. One of my high school teachers is somewhat of an expert on them, so he comes in to talk to our AP U.S. History class about them. Unfortunately, I am sick that day and miss his presentation. My friend and I are texting each other a few days later.)

Me: “I just finished my DBQ,” *document-based question, an assignment from AP U.S. History* “so I’m finally done with everything that I missed while I was out.”

Friend: “That’s good! You did miss the Molly Maguires lecture Mr. [Teacher] gave, though.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s was disappointing. I was kind of looking forward to that. Was it good?”

Friend: “Yeah, it was. He really knew what he was talking about.”

Me: “That sounds cool. The fact that it’s local history makes it much more relatable, too.”

Friend: “I still can’t picture it as being local.”

Me: “Weird to think that all that stuff happened a few hours away.”

Friend: “Why didn’t anything happen in [Our Small, Rural Town] though? It’s been around for centuries, so how come there’s not much history?”

(Pause.)

Friend: “I just realized I’m basically complaining about the lack of historical gang violence.”

They’re Being Annoying In Concert

| USA | Bizarre/Silly, Food & Drink, Popular, Strangers, Wild & Unruly

(My husband and I are invited to go with a few friends to a local concert venue for a show. We’ve never been there, but we know it is a small, standing room-only venue with elevated “VIP” seating in the very back for people who wanted to pay a little more to have a chair. We’re all standing along one wall that happens to join with the VIP area, and there are three *very* drunk, 40-ish-year-old women sitting behind us.)

Drunk Woman #1: *leans down and asks one of our friends* “Are you having fun?”

Friend: “Yes, thank you!”

Drunk Woman #1: “So are we!”

Drunk Women #2 & #3: “WOO!”

(This goes on periodically throughout the show, which we don’t mind, but then Drunk Woman #3 takes a sudden liking to my husband and me. She actually got my attention by reaching down and using one of her long, fake fingernails to tap the top of my head.)

Me: *jumping* “Holy s***!”

Husband: “What’s wrong?”

Drunk Woman #3: *fingernails still very close to my face* “I just wanted to say you two are such a CUTE couple!”

Me: “Uh… thanks.”

(We try to keep watching the show, but she does this TWO MORE TIMES! I know she was just being happy-drunk-friendly, but I don’t care who you are; if you want someone’s attention don’t dig your fingernail into their scalp. It’s rude and not a place people typically like to be touched. I didn’t want to start an argument with a drunk person, so we just moved down the wall a little bit to get out of her reach. Things were going all right after that, until the finale of the show when Drunk Woman #3 starts screaming at the top of her lungs: “I LOVE YOU [MUSIC ARTIST]!!!” over and over. Thankfully, we’ve already decided to duck out a few minutes early to beat the traffic, so we leave. On the drive home, I see my husband out of the corner of my eye reaching his hand over like he’s going to tap the top of my head.)

Me: “Don’t even think about it!”

Husband: *laughs* “Come on!”

Me: “Do it, and I won’t stop at the taco truck on the way home.”

(He kept his fingernails off my head, and we had excellent tacos before heading home for the night.)

Dawn Of The Bread

, | UK | Bizarre/Silly, Holidays, Popular

(I’m staying at the university halls of residence with one other man and three women. It’s coming up to Halloween and we’re all talking about what we should do for a party.)

Woman #1: “We should decorate. You can do those paper folding things.”

Me: “It’s called origami, and I could.”

Woman #2: “We should do jelly shots, and bobbing for apples.”

Woman #3: “What will you do, [Man]?”

Man: “Maybe raise the dead…”

(We all rolled our eyes as he’s always been a bit strange. Fast forward two weeks and I got an email from him, in between lectures. It was titled ‘Raising the dead.’ I was slightly worried as this was the first email he had ever sent to me, but when I opened it there is a video to download with the only words in the email saying “Our little secret.” The video was of our oven with a tray of cake mix and several miniature zombies and skeletons resting in it. The video was sped up so they quite literally rise in about half a minute. It was the most random thing I’ve ever received and it tickled me for the rest of the day. We’re still good friends, but he has yet to tell me why it had to be a secret, and why he only sent it to me.)

Heavy Drinking, Light Job

| The Netherlands | Awesome, Bizarre/Silly, Musical Mayhem, Popular

(I work as a light technician at a music venue, and I have my share of stories about drunk people at those parties. This night in particular was quite mentionable since so many things happened. It’s a concert of a Dutch folk singer and the audience is mostly middle aged woman, some teens, and a couple of elders. After the concert there’s a disco and most people are pretty drunk at this point. I’m getting asked multiple times if I can change the song or get comments that they don’t like the songs that are played. In other words: they think I’m the DJ. Every time I try to explain I’m the light tech they reply with things like “Wait, a GIRL technician? Noooo!” or “I didn’t know the lights needed controlling.”  It’s getting later and most people start to go home. I put on the main lights and shutting of my station. A middle aged woman comes up to me and pouts like a little child.)

Woman: “I’m very sad. The night is over and we have to go home now. It makes me sad.”

Me: “Well, you can’t have everything in life, I guess. And we want to go home, too, you know.”

Woman: “Oh, I really understand that! But I miss the times when parties like this go on until six am, you know? *starts a whole story about the ‘good old days* “…and look at those young folk going home already! I’m double their age and I still drink them under the table! HA!”

(She finally stops talking and by this time I’m done closing up my station and the other staff has already begun sweeping the floor etc.)

Woman: “I can’t believe you put up with me. Here I am, drunk as a trucker, and I keep on babbling to you sober, hardworking people. You must think I’m very annoying right now.”

Me: “Ma’am, despite the fact you are indeed drunk, you’re polite and haven’t assaulted me yet. Believe me; you are not as annoying as you think you are! I’ve seen waaay worse.”

Woman: *holds up her glass* “Cheers!” *she wobbles away*

(Sometimes you do meet fun people in this job.)

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