Category: Bizarre/Silly

A Bridge Too Far

| Clemson, SC, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Transportation

(A family friend is taking a road trip of maybe eight hours, and is stopping on the way to spend the night at our house. My mom’s brother lives near his destination and she’s decided to give his phone number to our friend as an emergency contact.)

Mom: *on the phone with her brother* “I don’t expect him to call you from prison or anything. He’s not a bad kid. He’s not even a bad driver; he just has bad luck. Weird things happen to him, especially on road trips.”

(Pause. He must have asked what she meant by bad luck.)

Mom: “Well, like getting exactly halfway through a trip, when nobody from either end could reach him in under three hours, and his car breaking down. Or like the time he was working at [Local Haunted House] and the prop toilet exploded and tore his leg up. That kind of bad luck.”

(My uncle eventually agrees to be an emergency contact, but still seems skeptical about our friend’s weird luck. The friend arrives that night about 12:30.)

Friend: “Hey, guys. Sorry I’m late. A bridge collapsed onto the road I needed to take, so I detoured into [Town he isn’t familiar with] and ended up lost.”

(We gave him my cousin’s number, too.)

No Hang Ups About No Hang Ups

| Houston, TX, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Technology

(My friend and I are shooting the breeze when we hit a lull in the conversation.)

Friend: “Well, I need to finish making dinner, so I’ll talk to you later.”

Me: “Okay, bye!”

(About thirty seconds go by, and neither of us have hung up.)

Friend: “Uh… I’m in the middle of cooking, so you’re going to have to hang up.”

Me: “Well, I’m in the middle of changing a poopy diaper, so it’s going to be a minute.”

Friend: *laughing* “All right, well, I guess we’re staying on the phone, then!”

(Eventually, one of us had a free (clean) hand and we got off the phone!)

Should Have Namaste’d Away

| San Francisco, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Language & Words

(I am browsing in a little Tibetan clothing and accessory store. It is a very small and quiet shop, since I am the only customer in there, so I can easily see an older white lady come in, and I can overhear the conversation.)

Lady: *bows to cashier, who is a young Tibetan man* “Namaste.”

Cashier: “Oh, thank you, but in Tibet we actually say tashi delek.”

Lady: “Well, I can read energies, so I know what I’m doing. Your energy is a bit murky; are you having trouble with a girl?”

Cashier: “Um… no?”

Lady: “Are you sure? No girlfriend or wife?”

Cashier: “No.”

Lady: “Well, I can read energies, so you must have trouble on the horizon. Namaste!”

(She then leaves without buying anything, and I burst out laughing.)

Me: “What was that?!”

Cashier: “Whatever it was, it was weird.”

It’s Right Behind Diagon Alley

| IN, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Pranks

(We are in class one day and I overhear this exchange take place. Note that our school has a giant statue of our mascot in the common area.)

Classmate #1: “I was hanging around the hallway next to the statue this morning—”

Classmate #2: “Wait, what hallway?”

(There is no hallway there.)

Classmate #1: “What? You’ve never seen it? It’s right behind the statue.”

Classmate #2: “No…”

Classmate #1: “You just go—” *gives complicated instructions*

Classmate #2: “I feel like you’re lying.”

Me: *joins in* “You haven’t seen it yet? It’s kind of hidden; you won’t see it unless you want to.”

Classmate #2: “All right… I still feel like you two are lying.”

(She then proceeded to walk down to where we told her to go. As soon as the door closed, we were laughing our heads off. This just shows you how nice it is to have gullible friends.)

Phoning In The Mommy Issues

| ME, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Strangers

(I just tried to order a textbook for class online using my mom’s credit card. It doesn’t work, so I text her letting her know. I texted a friend accidentally, though.)

Me: “Mom, it says the credit card brand isn’t accepted.”

Friend: “I’ll see what I can do, honey.”

Me: “Okay, thank you.”

Friend: “How was your day?”

Me: “Oh, f***.”

Friend: “That bad, huh?”

Me: “No, I just realized that you’re not my mom.”

(We got a good laugh out of it.)

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