Category: Extra Stupid

Turning Your Nose Up At The Experience

| Wilmington, OH, USA | Extra Stupid

(My freshman year of high school I sat with a group of my friends during lunch. These friends, unlike me, were generally pretty rambunctious, but today, one of them took things to a whole new level.)

Me: “[Friend], what are you doing?”

Friend: “Crushing up some Cool Ranch Doritos.”

Me: “What? Why?”

Friend: “I’m gonna snort ’em.”

Me: “Hang on, what?”

Friend: “I’m gonna snort ’em!”

Me: “I very, very strongly advise against this course of action.”

Friend: “Nah, it’ll be fine.”

Me: “Your funeral.”

(My friend snorted the Doritos, and instantly regretted it when the spices hit. The kicker? Fifteen minutes and a fair amount of tears later, he began crushing up more Doritos for Round Two! Needless to say, I don’t sit with him anymore.)

Nefertiti The Scribe

| Long Island, NY, USA | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid, History, Popular

(I am at the laundromat, reading a book while waiting for my clothes to finish. Another customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Oh! What are you reading?”

Me: “It’s about the history of ancient Egypt.”

Customer: “Oooh, is it an autobiography?”

Required A Phoenix Down

| Extra Stupid, Geeks Rule, Health & Body, Popular

(I have multiple geeky (in a good way) friends. One day, one of those friends brings in two potions that he made by following recipes in a game. One of those recipes call for dead fish, and we named that one ‘the dead one.’ A bit after, he doesn’t come into school for three weeks, and we’re all worried about him. This is the conversation when he comes back.)

Me: “[Friend], why were you out for three weeks? You missed so much homework!”

Friend: “I drank ‘the dead one’…”

The Same (Har)Old Story

| NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Popular, Strangers

(The phone rings.)

Friend: “Hello?”

Stranger: “Lemme speak to Harold.”

Friend: “There’s nobody here by that name.”

(Phone rings again.)

Friend: “Hello?”

Stranger: “Harold?”

Friend: “There’s no Harold here. You have the wrong number.”

(Phone rings again.)

Friend: “Hello?”

Stranger: “Can I speak to Harold?”

Friend: “Listen to me: You have the wrong number.”

Stranger: “I do not have the wrong number! You keep answering the wrong d***ed phone!”

They Need To Be Expelled-iarmus!

| CA, USA | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV, Popular

(I’m chatting with my table before the bell, and I begin one of my many rants. This one is about crappy book versions of movies, and vice versa.)

Me: “There was also this one situation where there was a book, a movie based off of that book, then a novelization of the movie!”

Tablemate: “Ooh, yeah, that sucks. Y’know, I hated Harry Potter.”

Me: “What!?”

Tablemate: “Yeah, the book renditions are total crap. They added characters and got the appearances and whatever all wrong.”

Me: “…”

Page 1/3412345...Last