Category: Food & Drink

Playing Hunger Games With You

| OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Popular

(I am meeting with a group of friends at a local bistro. Since it is a weekday afternoon, I go straight there after work. By the time I arrive, I am famished since I had to take an early lunch break because of shifts and schedules. We all get seated and place our orders; half of us order various signature pasta dishes.)

Waitress: “Here are your orders.” *puts the plates down in front of us*

Me: “Excuse me. This isn’t the one I ordered. I ordered the one with chicken.”

Waitress: “I’m sorry.” *she picks up the plate* “I’ll take this back and make sure you get the right order.” *she leaves*

Friend: *sitting directly across from me* “Oh, this pasta dish is so good! I didn’t order chicken, but this chicken is so delicious!”

Me: *at that point, I realize the waitress had accidentally switched our orders* “That was the dish I ordered.”

Friend: “Really? Oh, but this is so good. And I am so hungry! I’m just going to continue eating this. It tastes SO good!”

(There’s little else I can do at this point since she already had her fork in it other than watch her eat my food and brag about how good it tasted while I listen to my stomach growl.)

Friend: “I should have ordered this instead. It’s wonderful, and I am SO hungry! I’m definitely ordering it next time! It’s SO GOOD!”

(By the time my meal came, everyone else had finished eating.)

They’re Being Annoying In Concert

| USA | Bizarre/Silly, Food & Drink, Popular, Strangers, Wild & Unruly

(My husband and I are invited to go with a few friends to a local concert venue for a show. We’ve never been there, but we know it is a small, standing room-only venue with elevated “VIP” seating in the very back for people who wanted to pay a little more to have a chair. We’re all standing along one wall that happens to join with the VIP area, and there are three *very* drunk, 40-ish-year-old women sitting behind us.)

Drunk Woman #1: *leans down and asks one of our friends* “Are you having fun?”

Friend: “Yes, thank you!”

Drunk Woman #1: “So are we!”

Drunk Women #2 & #3: “WOO!”

(This goes on periodically throughout the show, which we don’t mind, but then Drunk Woman #3 takes a sudden liking to my husband and me. She actually got my attention by reaching down and using one of her long, fake fingernails to tap the top of my head.)

Me: *jumping* “Holy s***!”

Husband: “What’s wrong?”

Drunk Woman #3: *fingernails still very close to my face* “I just wanted to say you two are such a CUTE couple!”

Me: “Uh… thanks.”

(We try to keep watching the show, but she does this TWO MORE TIMES! I know she was just being happy-drunk-friendly, but I don’t care who you are; if you want someone’s attention don’t dig your fingernail into their scalp. It’s rude and not a place people typically like to be touched. I didn’t want to start an argument with a drunk person, so we just moved down the wall a little bit to get out of her reach. Things were going all right after that, until the finale of the show when Drunk Woman #3 starts screaming at the top of her lungs: “I LOVE YOU [MUSIC ARTIST]!!!” over and over. Thankfully, we’ve already decided to duck out a few minutes early to beat the traffic, so we leave. On the drive home, I see my husband out of the corner of my eye reaching his hand over like he’s going to tap the top of my head.)

Me: “Don’t even think about it!”

Husband: *laughs* “Come on!”

Me: “Do it, and I won’t stop at the taco truck on the way home.”

(He kept his fingernails off my head, and we had excellent tacos before heading home for the night.)

The Meat Of The Matter

| PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Non-Dialogue, Popular, Strangers, Transportation

I take the bus to do my food shopping. I am sitting there with three or four bags at my feet when a college-aged girl sits next to me. I thought it is strange since there are only two other passengers and plenty of empty seats.

The next thing I know this girl is digging into my bags and screaming at me… “Meat is murder! Murderer!”

I get up, grab my bags from her, and force my way out of the seat to sit on the other side. The whole time this girl is getting louder and louder to the point the bus driver stops the bus and tells her to be quiet.

It takes two police officers to get her off the bus. She is screaming for them to arrest the murderer (me) as the police drove off with her in the back of the car.

If she was that against meat, she should have stayed out of my groceries!

If It Swims Or Quacks Take It Back

| AL, USA | Food & Drink, Popular

(I’m hosting two of my daughters’ friends for a sleepover, as they’re the same ages as my girls (four and eight). We’re having “kid tapas” for dinner — basically an assortment of kid-friendly finger food with a variety of things to dip it in (ketchup, barbecue sauce, etc.) so the girls can all try weird combinations. I’m trying to encourage the four-year-old to try something other than grapes in ketchup.

Me: “Would you like to try one of the crab sticks?”

Four-Year-Old: “No, thank you; I don’t like seafood.”

Me: “That’s fine. We’ve got some leftover duck here, too; want to try that?”

(She tries it, makes a face, and puts it down.)

Four-Year-Old: “I think I don’t like pond food either.”

Got The Balls To Try The Balls

| Scott, LA, USA | Food & Drink, Gatherings, Popular

(I buy a pack of Sriracha gumballs and bring them to my D&D group. Friend #1 is the first to try them.)

Friend #1: “They’re a little gross but they’re not that AUGH OH MAN UGH GOD OH JESUS!”

(We all laugh at him and continue playing for a while.)

Friend #2: “Hey, there’s three more gumballs missing. Who ate them?”

Friend #1: “Oh, that was me.”

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