Category: Food & Drink

Try Some Spew-ghetti

, | ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Dorms, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(One of my friends was at my residence house one night, very drunk, and puked on our porch. We poured water on it to wash it away, but all of the… well, chunks, remained. I am with two of my classmates and we are walking back to my residence house so that we can work on a project. One of my classmates stops the other one before we go inside.)

Classmate #1: “WAIT! You can’t come in unless you can guess what [My Name]’s friend had for dinner last night!”

Classmate #2: “Huh? How would I know—” *he looks down and sees the left over puke and immediately looks away* “EW! OH, MY GOD, LASAGNA!”

An Energy Explosion

| Poolesville, MD, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I have ADHD and I have been known to use caffeine as a booster to my meds, especially in the weeks leading up to a dosage change. On this morning I have brought a full liter of Mountain Dew and a can of Red Bull to school.)

Me: *walking into class with beverages in hand* “Hey, what’s up?”

Friend: “Dude, are you seriously gonna drink both of those?”

Me: “Even better.” *proceeds to chug half the Mountain Dew*

Friend: *gives me a look of horror*

Me: *walking over to trashcan to pour Red Bull into the Mountain Dew*

Friend: “Dude, what are you doing?!”

Teacher: *only vaguely aware of what’s going on* “Is it going to explode?”

Friend: “No, but [My Name] is!”

Without GMOs Or A Home

| AZ, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Food & Drink

(I’m walking to my next class when I pass a man with a sign asking for money to buy food. He looks pretty hungry, being a broke college student, I don’t have any money, but I do have a granola bar. I offer him that.)

Man: *examining the granola bar closely* “Hold on, I have to check if this is organic and GMO free.”

Me: “I don’t think it is…”

Man: “Yeah, it’s definitely not.”

(He hands the granola bar back to me.)

Man: “Thanks anyway. Next time, bring something that’s not full of pesticides and funding Monsanto.”

Get A Pizza Him!

| NC, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(My boyfriend told me this about going out to eat with his sister and nephews. The older child is only three. At the next table is another family with a boy about the same age; when they get their food, he gets upset.)

Other Boy: “I don’t want grilled cheese! I wanted pizza!”

Nephew: *whips around in his seat* “YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY ‘CAUSE THE PIZZA’S FOR ME!”

Playing Hunger Games With You

| OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Popular

(I am meeting with a group of friends at a local bistro. Since it is a weekday afternoon, I go straight there after work. By the time I arrive, I am famished since I had to take an early lunch break because of shifts and schedules. We all get seated and place our orders; half of us order various signature pasta dishes.)

Waitress: “Here are your orders.” *puts the plates down in front of us*

Me: “Excuse me. This isn’t the one I ordered. I ordered the one with chicken.”

Waitress: “I’m sorry.” *she picks up the plate* “I’ll take this back and make sure you get the right order.” *she leaves*

Friend: *sitting directly across from me* “Oh, this pasta dish is so good! I didn’t order chicken, but this chicken is so delicious!”

Me: *at that point, I realize the waitress had accidentally switched our orders* “That was the dish I ordered.”

Friend: “Really? Oh, but this is so good. And I am so hungry! I’m just going to continue eating this. It tastes SO good!”

(There’s little else I can do at this point since she already had her fork in it other than watch her eat my food and brag about how good it tasted while I listen to my stomach growl.)

Friend: “I should have ordered this instead. It’s wonderful, and I am SO hungry! I’m definitely ordering it next time! It’s SO GOOD!”

(By the time my meal came, everyone else had finished eating.)

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