Category: Games

Romance Takes A Critical Hit

| East Midlands, England, UK | Games, Gatherings, Love/Romance

(My four friends and I play D and D on the weekends, I’m currently the DM and using the storyline I’ve created, I tend to make things easier or harder for my friends depending on how I feel or if they annoy me.)

(1. They enter a town and take a break in the town square where a statue of the local god is present.)

Friend #1: *whose character is wearing full metal armour* “I’m going to take a rest on the statue.”

Friend #2: *who has a high knowledge skill* “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Friend #1: *stares intensely* “I sit down on the statue’s base.”

Me: “Roll for dodging.” *rolls a four* “A giant bolt of lightning hits you as soon as you sit down. Lose three health.”

(2. They rest outside a dungeon after completing it, Friend #3 has brought along a female mercenary, whom he named Cecilia, in an attempt to flirt with her. Most of us are annoyed at him continually doing this.)

Me: “Night descends and you all rest. [Friend #3], roll.”

Friend #3: “I got a 7. Why?”

Me: “No reason. You all awake when the sunlight hits you, but you notice two things: one, you’ve been robbed, and two, Cecilia has vanished without a trace.”

Friend #3: “I hate you so much.”

Me: “I guess you could say she’s breaking your heart.”

Your Boobs Are Glitching Again

, | ME, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Games, Rude & Risque

(My friend is sitting on the lower bunk playing a rather glitchy, pornographic videogame. I am on the upper bunk, so I can’t see his screen. I am female.)

Friend: “AAAH! NO! BOOBS SHOULDN’T DO THAT!”

Me: “What are the boobs doing?”

Friend: “Oh, no, they stopped… NO! THEY’RE DOING IT AGAIN!”

Me: “Well? What are they doing?”

Friend: “I… I don’t know. I don’t know what to call it. It’s just…”

Me: “Boobs shouldn’t do it?”

Friend: “Exactly.”

(A few moments later.)

Me: “You know, you should probably tell me what the boobs were doing so that I can keep mine from doing it when I’m around [Boyfriend].”

Friend: “No, yours couldn’t do it. They’re too small.”

Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 9

| Fredericksburg, VA, USA | Games, Pokemon

(This is back when Pokémon Go first came out. My sister and I go downtown to play, and we walk past these other guys.)

Guy: “I’m getting nothing but Pidgeys!”

Me: *overhearing but stopping* “Pidgeys for days!”

Guy: *also without stopping* “Pidgeys for LIFE!”

(I cracked up laughing.)

Related:
Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 8

Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 7
Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 6

Game Quality Is “Going Down”

| MI, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Games, Overheard

(I’m sitting at the front desk where I work, and just out of view is a family playing a game of some sort. I’m listening in, as they’re kind of loud.)

Woman: “Can you go down?”

Teenage Girl: “No, I can’t go down yet.”

Woman: “Yeah, I may never go down.”

Man: “You have to have two in your hands first.”

(Cue my WTF expression. I’m not sure I ever want to know what game they were playing, but they kept making comments about ‘going down’ and ‘having two in hand’.)

Tongue Twister

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Games, Language & Words

(I am at a friend’s house playing Twister. In this version, there is a kind of “wild card” tile where the spinner can tell the player to do something as well as where their limb goes. Both of us have taken several years of Spanish.)

Friend: “Left foot red, aaaand you have to tell me a sentence in Spanish!”

Me: “No hablo español.”

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