Category: Gatherings

Coining A New Phrase

| Poolesville, MD, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Gatherings, Money

(I’m an avid coin collector and I tend to get fairly twitchy when I see a large pile of coins, not because I’m a hoarder, but because I want to sort through them. On this day, a friend of a friend has brought in a small box of pennies.)

Friend Of Friend: *pulls out box of pennies*

Me: *starts getting twitchy*

Friend: “[My Name], CALM YOUR COIN COLLECTOR!”

Romance Takes A Critical Hit

| East Midlands, England, UK | Games, Gatherings, Love/Romance

(My four friends and I play D and D on the weekends, I’m currently the DM and using the storyline I’ve created, I tend to make things easier or harder for my friends depending on how I feel or if they annoy me.)

(1. They enter a town and take a break in the town square where a statue of the local god is present.)

Friend #1: *whose character is wearing full metal armour* “I’m going to take a rest on the statue.”

Friend #2: *who has a high knowledge skill* “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Friend #1: *stares intensely* “I sit down on the statue’s base.”

Me: “Roll for dodging.” *rolls a four* “A giant bolt of lightning hits you as soon as you sit down. Lose three health.”

(2. They rest outside a dungeon after completing it, Friend #3 has brought along a female mercenary, whom he named Cecilia, in an attempt to flirt with her. Most of us are annoyed at him continually doing this.)

Me: “Night descends and you all rest. [Friend #3], roll.”

Friend #3: “I got a 7. Why?”

Me: “No reason. You all awake when the sunlight hits you, but you notice two things: one, you’ve been robbed, and two, Cecilia has vanished without a trace.”

Friend #3: “I hate you so much.”

Me: “I guess you could say she’s breaking your heart.”

One Compliment Complements Another

| Australia | Awesome, Gatherings, Health & Body

(I am overweight but have been losing weight; it’s gotten to the point that others are noticing. I meet up with a couple of friends for our Friday coffee. The last couple of weeks had been hard, I had a lot of pressure at work and our family had lost a loved one.)

Friend #1: “Wow, you look great!”

Me: “Oh, thanks.”

Friend #2: *an older male* “You look so relaxed’ *he knows how tense I’d been*

Me: “Thanks, the worst is behind me now. Now that that the funeral is over I can start settling down and there’s just one more week left before everything goes back to normal at work.”

(Both friends reassure me that I have done well. Afterwards I go to see to other friends who are having a conversation. I stand quietly by so they can still talk.)

Friend #3: “Wow, looking good, [My Name].”

Friend #4: *a younger male 20 years my junior* “Wow, [My Name], you do look great.” *he turns back to their conversation before turning back to me* “I’m not just saying that. I really mean it. Let’s put it this way, if you take a walk past a construction site you are going to be deafened by the wolf whistles.”

An Avalanche Of Rudeness

| USA | Bad Behavior, Gatherings, Strangers

(We are waiting in an alternating line to get on the ski lift. I am currently in the middle of telling my mom about the interesting people I have met previously on the lift, while she moves to get on the lift. As she does, a family of two full-grown sons and the equally large father collectively cut her off and nearly run her over.)

Me: “I met some interesting ladies… who know how to alternate in line…” *pointedly glare at the three adults on my mom’s skis*

Their Mom: *blushes* “I am so sorry. Please go ahead of us.” *shoos them backwards*

My Mom: *cheerfully* “Okay! Thanks!”

(Honestly, I don’t mind them cutting, but having a collective 600 lbs barrelling towards my mother because they are impatient apparently makes me snarky! I do feel bad for embarrassing that woman, though.)

Too Chicken To Play

| USA | Games, Gatherings

(My husband and I are on vacation with a group of friends. We are playing Pictionary with me and my husband on a team against two friends. The word is ‘drumstick’ and I’m drawing for my husband. I start by trying to draw a drum set and sticks.)

Husband: “Okay, it’s a stick! It’s a pointy thing!”

Friend: *looking at the other friends drawing* “A truck? A big truck?”

Husband: *I switch to drawing chicken legs* “Is that an animal? What?”

Friend: *glances over at my drawing* “Why is she drawing a chicken??”

(We all died laughing as the timer ran out with no one guessing correctly. The other friend had misread the word as ‘dumptruck,’ and was so confused as to why I was drawing a chicken!)

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