Category: Love/Romance

Romance Takes A Critical Hit

| East Midlands, England, UK | Games, Gatherings, Love/Romance

(My four friends and I play D and D on the weekends, I’m currently the DM and using the storyline I’ve created, I tend to make things easier or harder for my friends depending on how I feel or if they annoy me.)

(1. They enter a town and take a break in the town square where a statue of the local god is present.)

Friend #1: *whose character is wearing full metal armour* “I’m going to take a rest on the statue.”

Friend #2: *who has a high knowledge skill* “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Friend #1: *stares intensely* “I sit down on the statue’s base.”

Me: “Roll for dodging.” *rolls a four* “A giant bolt of lightning hits you as soon as you sit down. Lose three health.”

(2. They rest outside a dungeon after completing it, Friend #3 has brought along a female mercenary, whom he named Cecilia, in an attempt to flirt with her. Most of us are annoyed at him continually doing this.)

Me: “Night descends and you all rest. [Friend #3], roll.”

Friend #3: “I got a 7. Why?”

Me: “No reason. You all awake when the sunlight hits you, but you notice two things: one, you’ve been robbed, and two, Cecilia has vanished without a trace.”

Friend #3: “I hate you so much.”

Me: “I guess you could say she’s breaking your heart.”

Trumpet Versus Strumpet

| USA | Love/Romance, Musical Mayhem, Popular

(A couple is making out in front of the library blocking the doors. My friend comes from band practice.)

Friend: “I’ve got this.”

(She takes out her trumpet and plays in their face. Needless to say, they won’t do that again.)

Massaging The Truth

| Leeds, England, UK | Love/Romance, Popular

(My housemate is self-employed as a massage therapist, and also planning for her wedding. Money is a bit tight.)

Housemate: “I spent a load of wedding money on a new massage couch.”

Me: “Well, it is funky. ”

Housemate: “Probably wasn’t what I should have done.”

(Trying to be supportive, I go to tell her that equipment for work is a longer term return than money spent on a wedding ceremony. What I come out with instead…)

Me: “Cheer up; the couch will last longer than the marriage!”

(I die of mortification while my housemate almost kills herself laughing.)

A Light Weight Conversation

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Bad Behavior, Love/Romance, Popular

(I’ve just run into an old friend from college who, at the time, is in a very rocky marriage. He appears to be with another girl.)

Me: “Hey! It’s been a while! How’ve you been?”

Friend: “Been doing great. I’d like you to meet my new girlfriend.”

Me: *as I shake her hand* “Hi, nice to meet you.” *back to the friend* “But anyway, you look great. You look like you lost a lot of weight.”

Friend: “Yeah, I dropped 180 lbs… I divorced her.”

Me: *to his girlfriend* “How often does he tell that joke?”

Friend’s Girlfriend: “Waaaaaay too often.”

An Obvious Romantic

, | Sweden | Love/Romance, Popular, Schoolmates

(Two dorm-mates have suddenly started doing stuff like literally jumping into each others’ arms and kissing on a nearly daily basis. One evening, it’s just the three of us in the dining room. I decide to give them some privacy by sneaking in as far away as possible…)

Her: “Oh, no, [My Name]! Don’t be all alone! You can sit over here!”

Me: “A-all right…”

(We are chatting as normal for a few minutes.)

Him: “By the way…” *hands over a phone charger* “You forgot this in my room the other day, babe.”

Her: “Thanks, hun…” *turns to me* “Oh, that’s right. I gotta tell you something. [My Name], we’re actually going out now!”

Me: “…No s***?”

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