Falling Context

| Athens, Greece | Bizarre/Silly, Overheard, Popular

(I overhear a stranger on the phone as I walk to a seat.)

Stranger: “Did I tell you to fall? I didn’t tell you to fall. So why did you fall?”

(As people don’t generally fall on purpose or on command, I do wonder about the context. The only way I can make any sense of it is if she was giving instructions for a video game.)

Playing Hunger Games With You

| OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Popular

(I am meeting with a group of friends at a local bistro. Since it is a weekday afternoon, I go straight there after work. By the time I arrive, I am famished since I had to take an early lunch break because of shifts and schedules. We all get seated and place our orders; half of us order various signature pasta dishes.)

Waitress: “Here are your orders.” *puts the plates down in front of us*

Me: “Excuse me. This isn’t the one I ordered. I ordered the one with chicken.”

Waitress: “I’m sorry.” *she picks up the plate* “I’ll take this back and make sure you get the right order.” *she leaves*

Friend: *sitting directly across from me* “Oh, this pasta dish is so good! I didn’t order chicken, but this chicken is so delicious!”

Me: *at that point, I realize the waitress had accidentally switched our orders* “That was the dish I ordered.”

Friend: “Really? Oh, but this is so good. And I am so hungry! I’m just going to continue eating this. It tastes SO good!”

(There’s little else I can do at this point since she already had her fork in it other than watch her eat my food and brag about how good it tasted while I listen to my stomach growl.)

Friend: “I should have ordered this instead. It’s wonderful, and I am SO hungry! I’m definitely ordering it next time! It’s SO GOOD!”

(By the time my meal came, everyone else had finished eating.)

Nefertiti The Scribe

| Long Island, NY, USA | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid, History, Popular

(I am at the laundromat, reading a book while waiting for my clothes to finish. Another customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Oh! What are you reading?”

Me: “It’s about the history of ancient Egypt.”

Customer: “Oooh, is it an autobiography?”

Just Keep Drinking…

| Burnaby, BC, Canada | Movies & TV, Popular

(My friend and I are waiting in the incredibly long line back to town from our university campus. This happens as we are chatting. My friend has recently downsized from a house to a small condo, and I’ve had a specific housewarming gift in mind for her for well over a month now, but I have yet to actually buy it.)

Friend: *singing under her breath* “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…”

Me: “Oh, that reminds me, I wanted to get you a housewarming present.”

Friend: “Don’t! Do you have any idea how much stuff we had to get rid of to fit in the new place? I had to give away a whole shelf of mugs—”

Me: *interrupting* “Can I get you a mug with a picture of Dory and ‘just keep swimming’ on it?”

Friend: “Oh, my god, yes!”

History Is Ganging Up On You

| PA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, History, Popular

(In the 1800s, a secret society called the Molly Maguires was very active in our state, so even though nothing ever happened in our town, they are considered local history. One of my high school teachers is somewhat of an expert on them, so he comes in to talk to our AP U.S. History class about them. Unfortunately, I am sick that day and miss his presentation. My friend and I are texting each other a few days later.)

Me: “I just finished my DBQ,” *document-based question, an assignment from AP U.S. History* “so I’m finally done with everything that I missed while I was out.”

Friend: “That’s good! You did miss the Molly Maguires lecture Mr. [Teacher] gave, though.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s was disappointing. I was kind of looking forward to that. Was it good?”

Friend: “Yeah, it was. He really knew what he was talking about.”

Me: “That sounds cool. The fact that it’s local history makes it much more relatable, too.”

Friend: “I still can’t picture it as being local.”

Me: “Weird to think that all that stuff happened a few hours away.”

Friend: “Why didn’t anything happen in [Our Small, Rural Town] though? It’s been around for centuries, so how come there’s not much history?”

(Pause.)

Friend: “I just realized I’m basically complaining about the lack of historical gang violence.”