(In the middle of playing a custom D&D setting, my husband mentions FNAF and the jumpscare scream.)
Husband: *imitates animatronic scream*
Me: Oh, no, it goes more like this. *lets out accurate imitation of animatronic scream; Husband jumps*
Friend: Okay, she just stole a waffle *based on a youtube movie, which featured waffles as accolades* from you.
(Cue mass giggling from all of us.)
Husband: You have unlocked the achievement Waffle Thief! *still laughing*
Me: Or Yoink! *a reference to a popular game*
Friend: SHE STOLE ANOTHER WAFFLE.
(I couldn’t breath for a bit, we were all laughing so hard.)
(We have a three-day weekend coming up. I’m black while my roommate is white)
Roommate: Hey, I was thinking maybe for the weekend, we could take a road trip out to the beach.
Me: Tempting. Very tempting, but I probably shouldn’t.
Roommate: Come on. It’ll be fun. Just hang out, swim in the ocean, meet some girls, work on our tan…
Me: *laughing* Do I look like I need a tan to you?
my best friend moved to California, making me heartbroken. We remained still tightly close from texts and phone calls. A few months after she left I’m laying down on my stomach facing away from the door when, i feel a sudden weight on my back. I know its a person and i immediately assume its my brother, but then i realize he’s heavier than whoever on my back. I think it might be one of his friends, but again i think his friends wouldn’t do that. This thinking happens in all of 2 seconds and i turn around very confused. and i see my best friend! I still thought she was in California at the time this happened and was utterly shocked. I did move to California a few months after, but she then moved again across the country. Were still very close but haven’t seen each other in quite a long time.
(I’m from the south but visiting my grandparents who live in Missouri. My accent isn’t strong in the south, but it is more prominent in the north.)
me: *says something to sister*
other girl: *to me in a sassy voice* you talk funny!
me: well you talk funny too sweat heart
(My mom is picking me and my sister up from the high school. I am a sophomore, but my sister is still in eighth grade, there for marching band.)
Sister: Friend 1 and Friend 2 just aren’t getting along. (proceeds to describe drama)
Mom: You just can’t engage in that kind of stuff.
Sister: Ha! Friend 2 just texted me this funny picture.
Mom: See? That’s the kind of friends you need. Ones who bring you joy, not drama.
Me: Well, you know, they’re kind of the same people.
Mom: It’s different, though.
Me: Alright. Sister, your grade is just so full of drama.
Sister: Actually, they’re in high school. So really it’s your grade.
Me: (realizes) Oh…I guess you’re right.