It’s Like You Mead My Mind

| Bloomfield, NJ, USA | Backhanded Compliments, Holidays, Popular

(I’m at a friend’s house for their New Year’s party. I’m pretty broke, but I felt I should have Christmas present for everyone, so I’ve brought along a dozen bottles of homebrewed mead and apfelwein.)

Me: “Okay, everyone. I went with the cheapskate present route this year. Pick a bottle and that’s your present. They’re labelled; take whatever you want. Except you, [Friend].”

Friend: “Why?”

Me: “I’ve got a specific one for you.”

(I pull out a bottle of one of my more experimental brews.)

Me: “This is for you, because it’s as black as your soul and drinking it can leave a bad taste in your mouth.”

(Everyone else starts laughing.)

Friend: “You know me so well. Thanks.”

1 Thumbs

Similar Stories

Be Glad It Wasn’t A Baguette (A group of friends and I are out to dinner at a buffet before we see a movie. One friend has steppe...
Shouldn’t Be Saying This (I am in a therapy appointment, and we're talking about my tendency to say that I 'should' do things...
Was Robbed Of His Common Sense Already (We are sitting behind a guy in a packed restaurant.) Guy: *on the phone, loudly for the whole re...