Almost At That Sixth Degree Of Separation

| NY, USA | Gatherings

(A friend of mine has graduated college, and we’re having a party for her. I haven’t met a lot of the people there. Some of them ask me how I know her, and I just say I’m her friend. This is why:)

Person: “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m [Name].”

Me: “I’m [My Name]. Nice to meet you!”

Person: “Where do you know [Friend] from?”

Me: “Oh, we’re just friends. I’ve known her for a couple of years.”

Person: “No, but WHERE do you know her from? Are you a classmate?”

Me: *laughs* “No, it’s a little complicated.”

Person: “Well, now I have to know.”

Me: “Okay… she’s my boyfriend’s youngest brother’s boyfriend’s sister.”

Person: “…what?”

Me: “I told you it was kind of complicated!”

Must REALLY Enjoy That Workout

CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Non-Dialogue, Strangers

I want to preface this by saying that I love the gym I go to. Everyone there is always friendly without it being a “pick-up scene”, and no one hogs any of the weights/equipment, etc. However, there’s this one girl (and I suppose there might be a guy or girl like this at every gym) who comes in once in a while, and it just seems like she’s only there to try to get attention. Don’t get me wrong, she’s in great shape, etc. but when you (seemingly) intentionally make loud moaning noises for EVERY exercise or stretch you do, then look around to see if any of the guys working out noticed… yeah.

I usually just try to ignore her. But the other day as I was getting my weights set up for my next set, she walked in the door, took a drink from her water bottle, made a HUGE moan and immediately started swiveling her head around to see who noticed. I must have had a WTF look on my face, because she gives me this s***-eating grin and goes to start her workout. That convinced me that my original theory was right, unless she’s in possession of some pretty orgasmic water.

Literally No Room For You At The Table

| OH, USA | Gatherings, Ignoring/Inattentive

(After graduating college, I kept in touch with friends from high school. After a school event I was invited to and attended, they invite me to join them for dinner afterwards. I drive alone, and when I arrive at the restaurant, the group is starting to be seated, having never made a reservation for a dozen people. We are split up into a few groups, and one friend decides to arrange the tables herself.)

Friend #1: “Oh, we could move these two together!”

Server: “No, no, leave them.”

(Friend #1 sees me and realizes I tagged along.)

Friend #1: “Oh, [My Name], I forgot you were coming. You can sit with [Friends #2, 3, 4, & 5].”

(These four friends are already seated at a booth that can hold four people.)

Friend #1: “Is it okay if he sits on the end with them?”

Server: “No.”

(The server passes out menus for us and vanishes.)

Friend #1: “Go ahead and sit down.”

(She gives me a chair to place at the end of the table. I reluctantly sit down and look at the menu. Friend #2 and Friend #3 are ignoring the rest of the table because they are dating and cannot stop looking and smiling at each other, while Friend #4 and Friend #5 are talking with each other about a well-known book series, and are ignoring me entirely. At some point, the server returns with a manager.)

Manager: *to me* “Sir, you’re not allowed to sit there. You’re causing a fire hazard, and I know my server has already talked to you about it.”

(I am completely flabbergasted. I am a shy person and have serious trouble dealing with confrontation.)

Me: “So… what d—”

Manager: “You’ll have to move closer, away from the end, or leave.”

(I scoot as close as I can to Friend #3, and bury my face in the menu out of shame.)

Me: *quietly* “I don’t like going to [Restaurant]…”

(The table ignored me for the rest of the night.)

Should Have Namaste’d Away

| San Francisco, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Language & Words

(I am browsing in a little Tibetan clothing and accessory store. It is a very small and quiet shop, since I am the only customer in there, so I can easily see an older white lady come in, and I can overhear the conversation.)

Lady: *bows to cashier, who is a young Tibetan man* “Namaste.”

Cashier: “Oh, thank you, but in Tibet we actually say tashi delek.”

Lady: “Well, I can read energies, so I know what I’m doing. Your energy is a bit murky; are you having trouble with a girl?”

Cashier: “Um… no?”

Lady: “Are you sure? No girlfriend or wife?”

Cashier: “No.”

Lady: “Well, I can read energies, so you must have trouble on the horizon. Namaste!”

(She then leaves without buying anything, and I burst out laughing.)

Me: “What was that?!”

Cashier: “Whatever it was, it was weird.”

Ah, You’ve Met The Family Interrogator

| England, UK | Bad Behavior, Strangers

(My grandma has recently passed away and family and friends have gathered for her funeral. I help carry my grandma’s coffin into the service along with my brother and two other cousins. Although it is a sad day, the service is wonderful and we go away feeling as if she would have approved. During the service I see a middle aged woman helping with the Eucharist part. During the wake I see her shooting me several funny looks. Just when I am walking over to talk to one of my cousins she suddenly stands in my way.)

Woman: *rudely* “Who are you?”

Me: “Err… excuse me?”

Woman: “You were carrying the coffin; who on earth are you?”

Me: “[My Name], I’m her grandson.”

Woman: “Which daughter is your mother?”

(She has a very cross look on her face as if I have done something terribly wrong.)

Me: “[Mum]. I’m her youngest son. Now, do you mind?”

(Quickly I dodged past her and proceeded to ignore her the rest of the wake. Later on, I asked my aunt who she was. She laughed and replied “She’s a weird woman, that one!” and proceeded to inform me she wasn’t well liked by the other church members due to her bizarre and rude behaviour. Thankfully this was a minor problem on an otherwise good day. Wish I could have heard what my grandma thought of her, though!)