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Remain Walking Tall

| CO, USA | Health & Body, Popular

(My dad, brother, and I are going to go help my grandparents move. We have to drive for a little bit but it’s not too bad. We stop at a gas station to get treats and gas. Note my brother is fairly tall for his age and a lot of other people are shorter then him.)

Cashier: *to my brother* “Do you play basketball?”

Brother: “Do you play miniature golf?”

Me: *facepalm*

(My brother walks out to the car.)

Dad: “I’m so sorry. He doesn’t like being asked if plays basketball.”

Cashier: “THAT WAS THE BEST THING EVER!”

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Genie-us Comment

| UT, USA | Awesome, Family & Kids

(I’m at The Nutcracker with two friends and their daughter. There are a lot of small children in the audience for obvious reasons. During the second act, dancers representing different “nationalities” perform for the main character. As the Arabian dance starts, a very little girl behind me screams at the man wearing a turban and “traditional” clothing.)

Child: “Mommy! It’s the genie!”

(Whoever mommy is, hats off to her for raising an imaginative daughter. Every adult around her had a good laugh, though.)

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They Can Split The Atom But Not The Bill

| Chicago, IL, USA | Gatherings, Math & Science, Popular

(I am out to dinner with my boyfriend and one of his friends from college, both of whom were STEM majors. I briefly duck into the bathroom after dinner, and when I come back to the table, the two of them are engaged in what appears to be an intense conversation over the bill.)

Me: “What’s up, guys? Problem?”

Friend: *sheepishly* “The engineer and the astrophysicist are trying to do math.”

(Yep, the entire conversation was about calculating the tip.)

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Not Feline This Weirdness

| Canada | Awesome, Bizarre/Silly

(I am 12. My family goes on a cross-country road trip. We stay with friends and family instead of in hotels. We arrive at one place, and I and my stepsister (who is also 12) get out of the car. The woman we are staying with comes over to greet us.)

Woman: “Look at you! I just want to knock your heads together like two cats!”

(Which she did. Very gently. No, she didn’t have any cats, but she did let us drive her ride-on mower.)

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That Comes With A Slightly Heavier Fine

| Vienna, Austria | Gatherings, Rude & Risque

(I’m at a party, mostly attended by parents. It’s late, many guests are drunk, and jokes have become a bit raunchy accordingly.)

Host: “Come on, behave! From now on, whenever someone has a dirty thought, they have to pay one Euro. If they need to voice anything dirty, it’s ten. We’ll be able to build a house with all that money!”

Guest #1: “Define dirty. My views might not be the same as yours.”

Guest #2: “Right! If I think of children playing in mud, does that count as dirty?”

Guest #3: “Hopefully not.”