(I overhear a stranger on the phone as I walk to a seat.)
Stranger: “Did I tell you to fall? I didn’t tell you to fall. So why did you fall?”
(As people don’t generally fall on purpose or on command, I do wonder about the context. The only way I can make any sense of it is if she was giving instructions for a video game.)
I take the bus to do my food shopping. I am sitting there with three or four bags at my feet when a college-aged girl sits next to me. I thought it is strange since there are only two other passengers and plenty of empty seats.
The next thing I know this girl is digging into my bags and screaming at me… “Meat is murder! Murderer!”
I get up, grab my bags from her, and force my way out of the seat to sit on the other side. The whole time this girl is getting louder and louder to the point the bus driver stops the bus and tells her to be quiet.
It takes two police officers to get her off the bus. She is screaming for them to arrest the murderer (me) as the police drove off with her in the back of the car.
If she was that against meat, she should have stayed out of my groceries!
(I’m on a bus after school and there are three teenage boys by the window of the bus. Every time the bus passes a new person they start shouting abuse at them.)
Teenagers: *making rude hand signs and swearing at two passers-by*
(The bus stops and the two passers-by get onto the bus and step past the driver.)
Driver: “Hey! You need to pay!”
Passer-by #1: “Oh, no, we’re not here to ride the bus.”
Passer-by #2: *holds up badge and points at teenagers* “Secret police. We’d like you to come with us.”
(The teenagers had been shouting at people the whole time and only just realized what was happening. They looked sheepish and got off the bus with the two undercover cops. The entire bus was laughing. As the bus drove off without them I saw the two cops shouting at them less than a foot away from the teenagers’ faces.)
(I’m on the bus, and there’s a guy that is sitting in a way so that he blocks three quarters of the aisle, and takes up two seats. This is annoying enough, but then, he lifts his hand in an insulting gesture, and waves at everyone, even children.)
Bus Driver: “Excuse me, sir, you need to stop.”
Guy: “It wasn’t at you!”
Guy: “It wasn’t at any of you! Really! No offense.”
(He proceeded to do it until the driver finally kicked him out.)
(My friends and I are hanging out for one of my friends’ 21st birthday. Since we are on a bus, we’re trying to be respectful of those around us.)
Friend: “Happy birthday! I got you some adult literature since you are turning 21.”
(She hands him a paper bag that looks like it is holding a book. Since my friends are as likely to do a dramatic reading of a poem by Sappho as watch Spongebob, I wasn’t sure if she was being funny or serious.)
Me: “Oh, no, I didn’t think we were buying you presents.”
Birthday Boy: “You aren’t. [Friend] is just being insistent. I told [Friend] not to buy me anything!”
Me: “So, what is it? Or should you unwrap it later?”
Birthday Boy: “Let’s see.”
(He unwrapped it. It was a comic book tie-in for a popular children’s cartoon.)