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About To Start A Star Trek War, Part 2

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Popular

(It’s the night of the premiere of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Naturally, there’s a large number of people dressed up like Star Wars characters. I then notice someone dressed up like one of the crew from Star Trek: The Next Generation.)

Me: “You, sir, are a very brave man.”

Related:
About To Start A Star Trek War

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Awakening A Trap

| DE, USA | Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Popular

(I am seeing the new Star Wars movie with a friend, a movie theater employee at the theater we are attending. Just before the movie starts, there is a small advertisement stating that the theater is hiring. The following takes place in the few seconds of dead silence after the advertisement.)

Friend: *just loud enough to be heard by everyone in the theater* “IT’S A TRAP!”

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Tragicomic

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Movies & TV, Popular

(Every week one of the local theaters has a free showing of different anime. Usually they just show one or two discs but sometimes they will show an entire series over a few weeks.)

Host: “All right, everybody, we have coming up this next month [Serious Movie Title] and no talking on that one. [Two separate first discs] and those will be heckle nights so have fun. And the movie version of Air.”

(Air is an anime based on a dating sim game from a company infamous for tragic stories.)

Me: “What? No, I’m still not over the trauma from when you showed the full series.”

Friend: “Oh, don’t worry. The movie uses the good ending of the game.”

Me: “Really?”

(Three weeks later watching the movie version of Air. While only one person dies this time it’s made clear she is in an eternal cycle of reincarnation, getting progressively weaker and dying before she’s sixteen.)

Me: *yelling as credits roll* “You lied to me, [Friend]! You lied!”

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In The Twilight Of Our Friendship

| NC, USA | Coworkers, Gatherings, Movies & TV, Popular

(During college I work as a receptionist at a health clinic. There were four of us who rotate shifts and I often work with a second receptionist who is about 12 years older than me.)

Receptionist #2: “[My Name!] I wanted to ask you if you’d like to see a movie this weekend with [Receptionist #3], [Receptionist #4], and me for my birthday?”

Me: “Sure! What were you wanting to see?”

Receptionist #2: “You should know!”

(I should point out she was a HUGE Twilight fan. HUGE. I’d read the books on a 15-hour flight once because someone told me they were a quick read, but I personally prefer Anne Rice’s vampire novels.)

Me: “Um… Twilight?”

Receptionist #2: “Yes!”

Me: “Oh… I’m not really sure.”

Receptionist #2: “Oh, please? Please? I REALLY want us all to do something together!”

Me: *feeling guilty* “Well…”

(Receptionists #3 and #4 happen to come in for their shift and overhear. They finish convincing me to go with them. They aren’t fans either, so it’s pretty much understood we’re all doing this to be nice to Mary.)

Me: “Okay, I’m in.”

Receptionist #2: “Yay! And the best part is we’re going to the midnight premiere!”

Me: “WHAT?!”

(Receptionists #3 and #4 smirk at me, and I feel a sense of dread. Fast forward to that weekend. We get tickets ahead of time, have a late dinner which is really nice, and then the four of us go wait for the movie to start. The theater is PACKED with a mix of mostly teenage girls and women Receptionist #2’s age. Eventually, one of the “love interest” characters takes off his shirt, and the entire theater erupts in SCREAMS and WOOs!)

Me: *holding one ear shut since [Receptionist #2] is next to me screaming her head off, and glaring at [Receptionists #3] and [#4]* “I hate both of you so much right now.”

Receptionist #3: *also holding her ears* “You didn’t think we’d let you miss this, did you?”

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No But If He Did He’d Start With You

| Germany | Extra Stupid, Popular, Religion

(An ethnologist has just released a documentary on an Afro-American religion often thought to be “black magic,” which premiers in a small local cinema. The documentary aims to debunk some of the worst stereotypes about the religion, and the ethnologist has invited an African-American priest who has agreed to answer the audience’s questions afterwards. Some of those are interesting, some show that the asker clearly hadn’t paid attention to the movie, but the priest still replies politely. Then comes this gem, though…)

Asker: “Do you sacrifice humans?”

Priest: *after short silence, baffled* “What a stupid question.”