Category: Funny Names

By Jeorge!

| San Mateo, CA, USA | Bigotry, Family & Kids, Funny Names, Language & Words, Sports, Strangers

(We are watching our son’s baseball game. The couple in front of me turn to chat about some of the players.)

Wife: “Look! It’s George with a ‘J’!”

Husband: “George with a ‘J’?”

Wife: “Yes, I was keeping score the other day and it was written with a ‘J’!”

Me: “That’s… odd. Someone must have made a mistake; it’s George with a ‘G’.”

Wife: “Of course not! Stop imposing your white culture on him and his parents! What would you know about his name?”

Me: “I’m his father.”

Shall We Take This Into… The Kitchen?

| Lancaster, PA, USA | Funny Names, Language & Words, LGBTQ

(I’m driving in the car with my friend. Our current topic of conversation is sexuality. It should be noted that my friend is gay.)

Friend: “So [Coworker] told me the other day that he’s pansexual.”

Me: “Oh, yeah? Cool. I didn’t know that.”

Friend: “Yeah. I’d actually never heard of that before.”

Me: “Really?”

Friend: “Yeah. So I didn’t know what he meant at first. I was like, does that mean you’re into pans or something?”

(We both shared a laugh at that. Ignorance can sometimes be very amusing.)

It Depends On What You Do With The Finger

| AR, USA | Funny Names, Language & Words

(I have a friend who really is very bright, but she can be an airhead sometimes, and doesn’t always know the proper word for a situation. We are sitting and talking, when she begins to poke at my face. She’s clearly just messing with me, but she accidently gets close to my eye, so I just laugh.)

Me: “[Friend], I swear, if you put my eye out, I’m going to bite your finger off.”

Friend: “You can’t do that, [My Name]! That’d be bestiality!”

(I just stare at her with no expression on my face. She laughs and goes to do something, and when she turns back around, a couple of minutes later, I am still staring at her. I can see she realizes she said the wrong thing, and she’s trying to figure out what the correct word was.)

Friend: “That’s… the right word, isn’t it?”

Me: “No! [Friend], no! Just… no, no! [Friend]!”

Friend: “Then what is it?”

Me: “Cannibalism! Cannibalism!”

Friend: *laughs* “Well, it’s the same thing!”

Me: “Thank god you’re pretty.”

Transported To The Two Towers

| Germany | Funny Names, Movies & TV, Overheard

(I am at the cinema, waiting for the movie to start. In the row in front of me are two young girls.)

Girl #1: “I hope this movie is going to be better than the last one I watched. I didn’t like it at all.”

Girl #2: “Which one?”

Girl #1: “That Harry Potter movie, Harry Potter and the Two Holy Towers.”

(I have to bite my hand so I don’t laugh out loud.)

Girl #2: “The last one I watched was the one with all the cars.”

Girl #1:Transformers?”

Girl #2: “No, the other one.”

Girl #1:Transporter?”

Girl #2: “Yes, that one.”

(I really wanted them to keep talking; it was so much fun! But then the movie started. What a shame.)

Samey Amy

| Dublin, Ireland | Funny Names, Ignoring/Inattentive, Popular

(I am terrible at remembering names. I take a lifesaving class every week with a girl I’m friendly with and talk to during every class, but I can never remember her name. I come up with what I think is a genius plan to find out her name without admitting I forgot it.)

Me: “How do you pronounce your name again?”

Girl: *slowly and clearly* “Amy.”

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