Getting Into A Blood Debt

| Lakewood, CO, USA | Health & Body, Popular, Strangers

(I’m between jobs. To make some extra cash until I get back to work I go to a plasma donation center. While in the waiting room another person there is going up to everyone asking if they have any extra cigarettes. He gets to the person next to me.)

Other Donor: “Man, we are all here to sell our f***ing blood. If any of us can afford cigarettes I doubt we’d want to bum them to strangers!”

(The entire waiting room laughed while the guy’s face turned red before he slunk back to his seat.)


The Train Schedule For Neverland

| USA | Backhanded Compliments, Books & Reading, Popular, Roommates

(I have just come up with a new book idea and am telling my roommate about it. Note that she voluntarily edits my books.)

Me: “So, I started writing down all the things I have to research for the book. Economy, train lines, which stations would have stationmasters, what percentage of people in that area were immigrants, what sort of seniority and training a stationmaster would need, how inappropriate it would be for a 16-year-old girl to travel unaccompanied, what sort of employment she would have…”

Roommate: “You know, this is totally different from anything I’ve read of yours. Historical fiction, mystery, realistic.”

Me: “Excuse me, are you saying my books aren’t realistic?”

Roommate: “You write about swan maidens and fairy godmothers.”

Me: “Touché.”


Has No Animal Compassion

| Neuquén, Argentina | Neighbours, Pets & Animals, Popular

(One night I find a kitten that has been hit by a car. He is terribly injured and is crying non-stop. I decide to take the poor thing to an emergency vet that is open all night. I name him Goliath and promise to keep him (despite being allergic) if he survives. The vet checks on him and lets me know how bad the situation is.)

Vet: “He will need [medicine] to relieve the pressure on his brain and overnight internment. It will cost [way too much for a young girl without a job like me].”

Me: “Can’t you help me with that price? The cat is not mine and I don’t have that much.”

Vet: “Oh! So, who’s the owner?”

Me: “A lady on my neighborhood that is a compulsive animal hoarder. She wasn’t in her house and even if she were, I’m sure she doesn’t have that much money either.”

Vet: “That’s sad… So, what do we do?”

Me: “You really can’t give me a discount or something? For the love of animals?”

Vet: “No, sorry. If I worked for the love of animals I’d be broke.”

Me: “Okay… save him. I’ll pay.”

(I left Goliath there and went back home. The next morning I went to pay and check on him. They told me he had died and the nurse asked me about him. I told her the story and she decided to waive the medicine costs, but I still ended up paying a lot because the vet didn’t want to give me a discount. A week later I saw the hoarder lady’s son (who lived with her) and told him about what had happened. He had no idea one of their cats was missing and didn’t even care.)


Bikes Versus Yikes

, | NJ, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Popular, Strangers

(I’m about six in the story, in the food court at our local mall. My parents go to pay and I wander off. A biker finds me.)

Biker: “Now, son, where are your parents?”

Me: “I don’t know!” *sniffle*

Biker: “We’ll find ’em! What do they look—”

(Suddenly, he is cut off by an abrupt shriek.)

Woman #1: “That gangster is taking that kid!”

Biker: “No, this kid just—”

Woman #1: “I don’t care! You were going to kidnap him! HELP!”

(Security wanders over and my parents see the ruckus from the food court.)

Security: “What’s going on here?”

Biker: “I’m trying to help—”

Woman #1: “This guy is taking this kid!”

My Mom: “[My Name], are you okay?”

Woman #1: “Obviously not! This gangster was going to take this kid!” *points at biker* “Arrest him!”

Woman #2: “Actually, I watched the whole thing. This man was just trying to help the kid find his parents, when you started shrieking.”

(Woman #2 was thanked and the shrieking one went home embarrassed! That biker is a friend of my family now, and is in fact very sweet!)


Will Stop At Nothing

| OK, USA | Popular, Strangers, Transportation

(My town is laid out as a grid. The “main” roads are each a mile apart and the businesses and neighborhoods are tucked in the square mile sections in between. To dodge traffic, folks sometimes try to drive through neighborhoods since they’ll come out at the same place anyway. To discourage this, the town has set up stop signs every other block in each direction. A few intersections have four-way stops but most have two-way. I get to a two-way stop where I have no sign and proceed to turn left. A car to my right barrels through their sign and almost hits me. I lay on the horn and proceed through the turn. The other car has to slam on the brakes. I make another turn down the road, also with no sign and then get to an intersection where I have to stop. The car that had to screech to a halt pulls up behind me, honking. I hit the door lock and roll the window up all but an inch. The driver, a lady younger than me, jumps out of the car and storms up to my car. She actually grabs the door handle.)

Other Driver: “Get out of the car, b****!”

Me: “Nope.”

Other Driver: “Get out of the car! You nearly killed my kids!”

Me: “You nearly killed your own kids. You drove right through a stop sign.”

Other Driver: “You had to stop there!”

Me: “No. I did not. I had no sign. You did. Even if I had a sign, you would still have had to stop as we would have both had signs. You blew through the stop sign and nearly hit me, almost killing my kids. I notice none of your kids are seat belted in. You clearly don’t care about your own kids. Oh, and a cop just pulled up behind you. Have a nice day.”

(I drove off to the fire station on the next block just in case she continued to follow. I don’t know if the cops noticed her kids were not buckled in but, since they were standing in the back seat, I don’t know how they could miss it.)