Can’t Be Adults About It

| Ashford, England, UK | Movies & TV, Rude & Risque

(Some university friends and I are going to see “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.” We are in our early-twenties.)

Friend: “I can’t remember the last children’s film I saw at the cinema!”

Me: “Oh? What was the last adult film you saw?”

(It took me a few seconds to realise why everyone was laughing so hard!)

The Falling Standards Of Education

| Bakersfield, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography

(I’m in the ticket line at a movie theater. Nearby are posters of currently showing movies, one of which is “2012.” A boy and a girl, who look about 8 and 10 respectively, are in an adjacent line, looking at the poster, and discussing how the world will actually end.)

Girl: “I heard that the whole planet is gonna turn upside down and everyone on the bottom is gonna fall off into space!”

Boy: “Does that mean everyone in South America is already falling off?”

Friendship For A Few Dollars More

| USA | Bad Behavior, Money, Movies & TV, Popular

(My friend and I had just gone out to lunch and a movie. I paid for lunch, and she paid for the movie. But when we count out the difference, I have paid $9 more than her.)

Me: “Okay, you just owe me $9.”

Friend: “Here you go.” *hands me $4*

Me: “You still owe me five more.”

Friend: “But I don’t want to spend my money.”

Me: “You’ve already spent it. You’re just paying me back now.”

Friend: “No! I don’t want to spend my money. You owe me, anyway.”

Me: “What for?”

Friend: “You chose the movie!”

(She also been talking about this movie all week, and there were other movies I would’ve wanted to see.)

Me: “You have to pay me back! If you didn’t want to spend your money, you shouldn’t have come out!”

Friend: “Fine!” *throws $5 at me* “But you know I’m tight on money!”

(She was saving up her money for a $30 mascara, and couldn’t be bothered to get a job. We don’t hang out anymore.)

A Preview Of Things To Come

| AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Movies & TV, Strangers

(I am at my local movie theatre watching a film with my friends. We have arrived early, so I am texting my mom during the previews to let her know how long I will be. Suddenly, the lady behind me chirps up…)

Lady: “Excuse me, can you get off your phone? Some of us are trying to watch a movie here.”

Me: “Oh, yeah. I’m sorry.”

(I got off my phone only to be disturbed during the ACTUAL movie, not the previews, by her feet kicking and resting on my chair. I turned around to see her texting on her phone. Wow, talk about hypocrites!)

Shouldn’t Be A-Moo-sing

| Singapore | Movies & TV, Pets & Animals

(My friend and I are watching ‘Le Grand Chef,’ about a poor man who is in a competition to be the heir to the Royal Chef. At one point, he has to demonstrate how to cut up a cow. Because he is poor, he can not buy a cow and sacrifices his pet cow instead. In this scene, the pet cow is on the way to the slaughterhouse. This is the saddest part of the movie.)

My Friend: “Later on, you’ll see, as the cow goes in, it will turn around and look very sad, maybe shed tears.”

Me: “Nah, I don’t think so. Look at the corridor it’s walking in, it’s too narrow to turn.”

(As soon as I said that, the cow turned around with the saddest expression on its face.)

My Friend & Me: *burst out laughing*

(The other moviegoers around us shot us dirty looks for the rest of the movie!)