The Falling Standards Of Education

| Bakersfield, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography

(I’m in the ticket line at a movie theater. Nearby are posters of currently showing movies, one of which is “2012.” A boy and a girl, who look about 8 and 10 respectively, are in an adjacent line, looking at the poster, and discussing how the world will actually end.)

Girl: “I heard that the whole planet is gonna turn upside down and everyone on the bottom is gonna fall off into space!”

Boy: “Does that mean everyone in South America is already falling off?”

Friendship For A Few Dollars More

| USA | Bad Behavior, Money, Movies & TV, Popular

(My friend and I had just gone out to lunch and a movie. I paid for lunch, and she paid for the movie. But when we count out the difference, I have paid $9 more than her.)

Me: “Okay, you just owe me $9.”

Friend: “Here you go.” *hands me $4*

Me: “You still owe me five more.”

Friend: “But I don’t want to spend my money.”

Me: “You’ve already spent it. You’re just paying me back now.”

Friend: “No! I don’t want to spend my money. You owe me, anyway.”

Me: “What for?”

Friend: “You chose the movie!”

(She also been talking about this movie all week, and there were other movies I would’ve wanted to see.)

Me: “You have to pay me back! If you didn’t want to spend your money, you shouldn’t have come out!”

Friend: “Fine!” *throws $5 at me* “But you know I’m tight on money!”

(She was saving up her money for a $30 mascara, and couldn’t be bothered to get a job. We don’t hang out anymore.)

A Preview Of Things To Come

| AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Movies & TV, Strangers

(I am at my local movie theatre watching a film with my friends. We have arrived early, so I am texting my mom during the previews to let her know how long I will be. Suddenly, the lady behind me chirps up…)

Lady: “Excuse me, can you get off your phone? Some of us are trying to watch a movie here.”

Me: “Oh, yeah. I’m sorry.”

(I got off my phone only to be disturbed during the ACTUAL movie, not the previews, by her feet kicking and resting on my chair. I turned around to see her texting on her phone. Wow, talk about hypocrites!)

Shouldn’t Be A-Moo-sing

| Singapore | Movies & TV, Pets & Animals

(My friend and I are watching ‘Le Grand Chef,’ about a poor man who is in a competition to be the heir to the Royal Chef. At one point, he has to demonstrate how to cut up a cow. Because he is poor, he can not buy a cow and sacrifices his pet cow instead. In this scene, the pet cow is on the way to the slaughterhouse. This is the saddest part of the movie.)

My Friend: “Later on, you’ll see, as the cow goes in, it will turn around and look very sad, maybe shed tears.”

Me: “Nah, I don’t think so. Look at the corridor it’s walking in, it’s too narrow to turn.”

(As soon as I said that, the cow turned around with the saddest expression on its face.)

My Friend & Me: *burst out laughing*

(The other moviegoers around us shot us dirty looks for the rest of the movie!)

Lapping Up The Horror

| Norway | Movies & TV, Strangers

(My friend and I both love horror movies and try to see as many as we can. We’re at the local cinema and are about to sit down to see one. There’s four girls sitting on the same row as us. We’re also girls.)

Friend: “Hey, [My Name], can you sit next to them? You know how I dislike sitting next to strangers.”

Me: “Sure, it doesn’t matter to me.”

(We sit down, my friend to my right and the group of strangers to my left. Being used to horror movies and having an odd sense of humor, we laugh a lot at the scary scenes. The girls to our left are more jumpy, but we don’t think about it, until a sudden scare.)

Girl To My Left: “Ahh!”

(Something hits my lap. I look down, and the girl directly to my left has been so scared, she ducked to the side for safety – ending up with her head in my lap. I burst out laughing, as does my friend. The other girl looks up, and upon discovering she just threw herself at a complete stranger, looks mortified. Her friends start laughing, as well.)

Girl To My Left: *sits up* “I am soooo sorry! God, I didn’t mean to. I am so sorry!”

Me: *still laughing* “It’s fine; I understand why you did it. No problem.”

Girl To My Left: “Sorry again!” *turns to her friends* “I thought one of you were sitting there!”

(We all turned our attention back to the movie, still chuckling. That’s one way to deal with a scary scene in a movie!)